Living in the clouds

Two weeks have passed since I moved to Seattle and it stills feels like I’m living in a cloud-like dream.  If you told me a year ago that I would be living in a 600 square foot apartment on the lakefront in Seattle, I would have laughed at you. Yet, here I am.  In corporate housing along with hundreds of other Amazonians who have chosen to start anew.

My decision to move was motivated by the fact that I wanted to be inspired and challenged in my career and because I had stopped feeling adventurous.  I lost myself in raising my amazing children.  I found a good job at a solid company and settled in for a predictable life.  Punch the clock, earn a check, pay the bills, repeat!  Deep inside I knew my path had to change. This aching feeling of being too comfortable and not feeling like I was stretching and growing kept creeping into my consciousness and had been for years. Too many years of not being heard and seen at work had taken its toll on me.

Once I accepted that the cycle of mediocrity (the death spiral of sameness) was extracting the life from my soul, my choices were limited.  I could continue to shrivel on the vine or I could step into the discomfort of the unknown and revive my spirit.  I chose to lean into the challenge of starting over.  Of being the new kid on the block again.  As I sit here looking out on the sail boats in the marina, it feels right.    

I admit this has not been easy.  I miss my family! I miss my friends!  The one thing I have been blessed with is a circle of amazing people who have been my life support in times of need.  People like my mom who is my favorite symphony date.  My daughter and son who make me feel like a super hero in spite of my humanness.  Girlfriends, who listen without judgement and my grandchildren who give the best hugs ever. My first day in Seattle, I cried knowing that I had to sacrifice all those amazing connections to find me again. Deep down inside I know that those connections remain and that I can sustain them with concerted effort.  The people I left in Arizona are much too valuable to just leave behind. 

Yesterday I finally ventured out of the city to explore Washington.  It is just beautiful here.   I am a self-proclaimed desert rat, but am drawn to the beauty of the lakes, rivers, and mountains of the Pacific Northwest.  It was a struggle to drive north towards the Canadian border and keep my eyes on the road! My goodness it was awe inspiring to view water for as far as the eye cansee.  In the coming weeks, I am planning to get out on the water and do some hiking.  This is the adventure I sought so I plan to jumpin with both feet. 

I am adjusting to change and will find a way to nurture the connections with those Ileft behind while I embrace this new challenge of forging a new path to rediscovering me.