At my core I strive to be a person of integrity. I live to work hard and always do the right thing hopefully at the right moment. These values were instilled in me by two special and amazing people, my parents. Recently, I was gifted with ten beautiful days in the company of my heroes. It was not lost on me how blessed I was to spend quality time with my parents. Many of my friends and family members have only the memory of their loved ones. Therefore, I set an intention to be in the moment with them during their stay.
Anticipating their visit, I counted down the days to their arrival like a kid waiting for Christmas. I looked forward to them experiencing Seattle through my eyes and sharing my new home with the people who made my dreams possible. In typical fashion I planned to fill our days with as much action and adventure my parents would tolerate.
Our vacation started with a train trip from Seattle to Vancouver, BC, Canada. It was an amazing trip but one that opened my eyes to the passing of time and its affects on my parents. Both have slowed down a bit and need a little more time to navigate. My dad is now visually impaired so he needs the help of others to act as his eyes. These dynamics caused me to reflect often upon the shifting roles between parent and child. I feel a fierce need to protect them they way I know they protected me when I was younger. It also made me adjust my expectations for our trip. I realized that the time we would spend together did not have to be filled with activities. This trip was an opportunity for us to enjoy the simple act of being in one another’s space.
As we settled on the train I put down my phone and enjoyed watching scenic Washington state zoom by outside. Describing everything I was seeing to my dad and pointing out fun sights to my mom, I felt like a child filled with wonder and amazement at the sights. My dad is that person who will make friends with someone within 30 seconds of meeting. So true to form he sparked conversation with the couple seated across from him on the train. Discussing topics from fishing to geography. Speaking of geography, my dad is fascinated with rivers so we spent hours during our trip talking about major rivers of the world and their tributaries. During our first day of vacation he encouraged me to use Google to research the origin of rivers, their length, and the paths they travel. Mom sat back and observed our interaction, occasionally shaking her head as dad and I debated facts I uncovered. Dad often brought up topics I had never considered. When fully sighted dad always had his nose stuck in an atlas. Studying rivers and roadways so that he and my mom could travel together in their RV to explore them. It amazed me how much he could recall without being able to see a map.
Thinking about dad driving caused me to recall all of our family road trips. The road offered him freedom and adventure, which when I think about it now makes me sad because in a sense that freedom had been taken away along with his eyesight. But his sense of wonder and adventure has never waned. He and my mom showed us the world from a car window. So it was my turn to show my parents the world from my perspective during their visit. We carefully walked the streets of Vancouver in search of good food and drink. As we settled into our routine in BC, I slipped into a place of being hyper aware of each moment with my parents. The simple act of enjoying a delicious meal brought me joy.
One of the highlights of our Canadian adventure was a ferry ride to Victoria. As we waited to board the ferry my mom and I spotted a young eagle sitting just feet from our car. We both expressed pure delight at the sight of an eagle spreading it wings wide and taking off in flight. Our adventure with nature did not stop there. While dining al fresco at the resort we discovered “meat bees”. This is where I must mention that my mom and I are terrified of bees. So, we ordered wings as a snack and had to share it with yellow jackets who apparently love chicken! We watched in terror and awe as the little critter worked diligently to steal a hunk of meat off the bone. As it flew away with its spoils we wondered if what we saw was real. It was! No kidding, Google it!
I loved every moment with my parents. It was a gift to wake up and have a cup of coffee together each morning and end each evening on the rooftop watching the seaplanes land on Lake Union. Mom and I would listen carefully for the sound of the plane’s engine and rush to see it land between the sail boats on the lake. Dad just wanted to see the tall buildings, which caused me to become melancholy about his inability to see the beautiful Seattle skyline. In spite of his limitations he really seemed happy at just being on that roof seeing what he could.
I have to admit that at one point during our vacation my patience with dad was tested and I was unkind. It hurt my heart and caused me to lose sleep that night. Life is too short to waste precious moments being angry with those we love. I made sure to apologize and reset the next day after crying myself to sleep the night before. I was appalled by my behavior and upset that I had wasted precious time with my parents being on the outs with dad.
As our ten days concluded my mom joked that it was time for the “old” people to go home so I could get back to my life. But in reality, being with them made me feel more alive and centered than I had felt in months. My heart is filled with so much love for my parents and I am grateful for any moment I can share with them. I will walk at a snail’s pace with them, sit and watch seaplanes for hours, or even ruminate over a cup of coffee in the morning. Loving them is a gift. Laughing with them is pure joy.
Because of them, I am who I am today. They are my heroes and my favorite people on earth and I really enjoy just hanging with them.